Not exactly a world-beating achievement, I’ll grant you, but given my long-standing failure to finish anything related to this blog, I think it deserves a very subdued toot of triumph.
Anyway. One of the pleasures of watching ‘Hammer House of Horror’ via the Network blu-ray release (which looks lovely, but is entirely devoid of contextual extras) is that I went into each episode cold, with no idea at all of what to expect. Due to its being a TV series, HHoH receives no coverage in any of the horror movie reference works I habitually consult on uch matters, and, prior to viewing, I deliberately avoided seeking any discussion / reviews online.
As a result, I remain entirely uninformed about the behind the scenes deal-making which shepherded this series into existence, about the influence exerted upon it by any individual personalities, or any of that standard issue ‘making of..’ type stuff.
Given that most of the series’ scripts were one-offs credited to professional TV writers though, my assumption is that they must each have been commissioned to deliver a story based on a pre-existing brief, and at least some of the ground rules set down by the producers / script editors are clear to see.
Most obviously, all of the episodes utilise a contemporary, southern English setting. With only a few exceptions, the majority of them also feature a young male-female couple or nuclear family as protagonists / audience identity figures. Further to this, each episode seems to have been obliged to include some mild sexual content or brief nudity (framed in a manner which listeners to the Chart Music podcast will immediately recognise as ‘dadisfaction’), along with some equally mild gore.
Beyond this basic ‘house (of horror) style’ though, my overriding impression is that there were essentially two competing visions in play re: deciding what this series should actually *be*.
On the one hand, we have the idea of a ‘Twilight Zone’-style affair, offering high concept, ‘twist in the tail’ stories which aim to disturb and unsettle. This approach seems to have ultimately been the more successful one; as well as giving rise to the most highly regarded episodes [see below], it also laid the groundwork for the subsequent ‘Hammer House of Mystery and Suspense’ series, which followed in 1984.
At the same time though, there also seems to have been an opposing voice in the room, advocating for the idea that ‘Hammer House of Horror’ should incorporate the kind of content which fans of Hammer’s earlier gothic horror films might have reasonably expected from a televised continuation of their favourite brand. Thus, the series seems to have been obliged to deliver a vampire episode, a werewolf episode, a Satanic cult episode, and so on.
Broadly speaking, the episodes which veered in this pulpier direction seem to have been less well received, but personally I really enjoyed them, which is reflected in my ranking of the episodes below.
Irrespective of whether or not my vision of two battling producers had any basis in reality though, one of the things which I feel makes the series to consistently interesting is the tension created by these two conflicting approaches - particularly when the requirement to drag the more trad / gothic tropes into a present day setting leads to things getting thoroughly mixed up.
We can easily see for instance how a number of ‘mid-table’ episodes (‘Charlie Boy’, ‘Witching Time’, ‘The House That Bled To Death’ ) benefit greatly from the extremely peculiar directions in which their writers have to take the material, in order to reconcile old school horror fare with both a more contemporary TV drama aesthetic and a short story-style ‘surprise ending’ format.
By my reckoning in fact, the only purely straight-forward gothic tales offered up by HHoH are ‘Guardians of the Abyss’ and ‘Children of the Full Moon’; and, whilst I thoroughly enjoyed them both, it’s easy to imagine more critical / mainstream viewers finding their comforting, old fashioned brand of Dennis Wheatley-esque horror a bit of an anachronism by the dawn of the ‘80s, however much the ‘monster kids’ and sundry weirdos in the audience may have thrilled at the rare opportunity to see some full-blooded genre content beamed directly into their family living rooms.
For the most part though, I tend to believe it is the clash between these conflicting agendas which allowed the series to remain so consistently surprising and enjoyable throughout its tenure.
Of the thirteen episodes counted down below, I would say that the top ten all fall broadly within the ‘good’ or ‘excellent’ categories, and of the remainder, even #11 and #12 manage to include some eccentric / amusing elements which make them worth a watch, leaving only the dismal ‘Growing Pains’ as a total write off - which stands as a pretty remarkable hit rate, given how wildly variable the series is in terms of tone, execution, production values and objective dramatic quality.
Without further ado then, here, finally, is my HHoH chart run-down, complete with links to the posts in which I originally wrote about each episode.
Peter Cushing’s last great performance? Nuff said, I should think.
Relentless, disorientating and flat out bloody terrifying. A great example of what TV horror can achieve.
Gets about 50% of the way toward becoming ‘The Sweeney vs Dracula’.
Like a pilot for the ‘80s ‘The Devil Rides Out’ spin-off series nobody asked for, but that everyone secretly wanted. (Or: that insane episode of ‘Lovejoy’ which some kid told you about in the playground in 1987, and which you were *sure* they just made up… until now.)
Neon meat dream of a Surrey Estate Agent, as a lady in a succession of, shall we say, attention-grabbing outfits leads Denholm Elliot through the tormented depths of his sub-conscious mind.
Diana Dors, creepy Victorian children and some splendid locations all add up to what (given the dearth of competition) still probably ranks as one of the best British werewolf things ever.
7. Charlie Boy
Admirably full-on yuppie voodoo doll mayhem.
Nasty, squalid, mad, uncomfortable - and that’s just how I felt by the time I hit the end credits. Still not entirely sure how to take this one, but it certainly makes an impression.
9. The House That Bled To Death
The haunted pebble-dashed semi which lurks deep in my repressed childhood memories… OR DOES IT? Etc.
10. Witching Time
Time travelling witch! Jon Finch with a mullet, on keyboards. The campiest episode by quite some distance, but deliriously enjoyable all the same.
A pretty glum business on the whole, but elevated by an absolutely berserk ‘twist’ ending and a fine supporting performance from Warren Clarke.
A staggeringly inept load of toss from old hands Peter Sasdy and Tony Hinds - but it at least has the decency to be unintentionally amusing in places.
13. Growing Pains
What was this one even about again? I’m not sure I even care to remember, but I do recall some unpleasant business involving rabbits and dogs, just to add insult to injury. The pits.
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